I haven’t done one of these posts in a while.. so I thought I would take the opportunity to do one about break ups. A life experience that I’m sure most of us can relate to. I wanted to write this post as after speaking to many different people it seems that A LOT of us feel ashamed of the things we do after a break up and I think it’s time to say.. HEY, it’s ok to many of those things.
Hey it’s ok… to cry. First things first, never see it as a weakness to cry. I cry when I’m angry, sad, happy, or because its a Wednesday already and what the hell have I got done?!
Hey it’s ok…. to want to make him/her love you again. By now you might have heard the whole “why would you want someone who doesn’t want you or who has hurt you so much” bullshit. YES I’m calling it. It is utter BULL-SHIT! Sometimes you can’t help how you feel about someone and thats that. But know this, at some point you will love yourself so much you won’t be with anyone who loves you any less.
Hey it’s ok…. to get so drunk you forget where you are, who you are and what the hell you’re doing. This is a different type of drunk then “going out and having a good time” this is getting drunk so you forget. I’m not encouraging un safe drinking nor am I saying this is a GOOD way of dealing with a break up, and in excess you need to seek help but if you do get this drunk, end up falling over then crying don’t sweat it, you’re not the only one.
Hey it’s ok… to isolate yourself from everyone. At some point within a break up the only person you want to spend time with is yourself. This is ok! Don’t feel guilty for saying no to your friends when they ask you over. Don’t feel guilty for ignoring your parents calls and most certainly don’t feel guilty for taking a day for you.
Hey it’s ok… to buy stuff you don’t need. I know I have done this one. When I’m in a relationship my money tends to go on them or on things WE (oh look theres that arrogant royal WE) can benefit from. It’s only natural that when you’ve broken up with someone you have this urge to go and treat yourself to something nice…Ok a couple of things… A couple of times.
Hey it’s ok… to have break up sex. I’m not just talking about just straight after either. It’s ok to want to go back to your ex a couple of times as long as you know at some point it has to stop and will stop, then I say have fun chicka!
Hey it’s ok… to hate him/her. When you first break up with someone you go through so many emotions. First you’re confused, then you want them back, then you hate them, then you love them, then you don’t want to see their face EVER again, then you’re cool with it. It’s always a roller coaster but don’t ever feel guilty for hating them even if they have done nothing wrong.
Hey it’s ok… to have fun. It’s ok to let your hair down. Go out spend a silly amount of money, spend more time out with friends then you do at home. Go on dates. Get free dinners. Go on a crazy holiday. Just say “YES” to the irresponsible fun things in life for once.
Hey it’s ok… to go back to your parents. This may not apply to all break ups but I think you feel a lot of pressure to NOT go back to your parents when you’ve moved out already. As you get older you find it hard to look to your parents for guidance as much as you would when you were a child or in your teens but I’m saying don’t be ashamed to go to your parents whether that is physically moving back in to your family home or going to them for advice.
Hey it’s ok… to take days off to sulk. I actually got sent home from work because my tears were behaving like a leaking tap, just wouldn’t stop. I think at this point I knew I should of probably “pulled a sicky”.
Hey it’s ok… to take a life detour. It’s MORE then ok to take a step back and decide to take a little detour on your way to your ultimate destination. Sometimes life doesn’t go as you planned. Sometimes you move in a different direction and don’t really know where you’re going but that’s ok, just go with it until you figure it out.
Hey it’s ok… to not want to hang around with your loved up friends. At some point within your break up, loved up people will just make you a little bit sick and that’s ok. Just don’t push them out entirely they will make you believe again.
Hey it’s ok… to want to know what he/she is up to. I have never met a person that comes out of a relationship and DOESN’T want to know what the other is up to. If they say they don’t they’re lying. It’s normal.
Hey it’s ok… to get jealous. If you haven’t already read it, I did a whole post about being jealous and how it’s a completely normal emotion to feel. More so when you’ve just broken up with someone, you wish YOU were that person they were taking for dinner. You wish YOU were the one they were going home to every night.
Hey it’s ok… to move on. It’s ok to move on with your life. It’s ok to not be in a toxic mental battle with yourself the whole time. Moving on and creating a good life for yourself with out that other person is more then ok, don’t feel guilty.
Hey it’s ok… to fall in love. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE fall in love again and again and again. Break ups suck, yes but don’t think that one bad relationship, one bad break up means you aren’t lovable or that you’re not capable of loving someone. YOU ARE A KICK ARSE SASSY SUPER STAR BOSS BABE GORGEOUS INTELLIGENT WOMAN (AND MAN) SO GO FALL IN LOVE, with yourself first.
Ta-ra for now
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