I got this post all ready to be published yesterday evening, however, I had an awful day wanting to hide under my duvet from the world and being absolutely terrified that I’ll 23 in 12 days… now 11 days. Can someone please stop time for me? I’d be forever grateful. Ta very much. Anyway, I thought for this post I would paint a little picture for you.
Ok so I don’t have a little sister but it made for a catchy title and if I did this is what I would say.
It’s Friday lunch time and I’m sitting in my favourite coffee shop with a giant sized latté trying to get my weekly newsletter sorted for the big launch on Sunday, fast forward to Monday quick, it did not go to plan.
I couldn’t help but over hear, OK I’ll admit I was trying to listen, to these school girls, they must have only been 15 but they were discussing how restricted their life is being a teenager. How many rules their parents put in place. How they can’t wait to be in their twenties so that they can have so much more freedom. Which made me laugh to myself because I remember thinking the exact same thing when I was 15. I listened more to the things they were imagining their twenties to bring, which made me want to be one of those arse hole, patronising, old people and go and tell them what being in your twenties is ACTUALLY like. Ugh, who am I? Instead, I thought it would make for a brilliant blog post.
So this is for my younger self, to my imaginary younger sister and to the girls in the coffee shop.
Girls, don’t rush.
Having sex is still a taboo subject, you still get judged for the people you choose to sleep with, your parents are still going to feel uncomfortable at the thought of you doing it and if you’re still living at home (omg does living at home in your twenties SUCK BALLS) then you’ll feel like you’re back to being 16 again and having to sneak around. So don’t rush, take your time, only do it when it feels right for you, be confident and be proud of who you choose, your body is a masterpiece so respect it.
That leads me on to my next thought. Stop hating every little bit about your body. I wish schools would teach BOTH girls and boys about what a woman’s body really goes through over the years because MY GOD does it change 193690385 times and I have only just started to get to really get to know my body at the grand age of 23. Your body will change again from when you’re 18 to when your 22 to when you’re 29 to when you’re 33 and having babies to when you’re 55 and going through menopause. So get to know your body, love it for its weird and wonderful changes even if you are fucked off because your belly is bloated, you feel dirty because your vagina won’t stop leaking and your boobs hurt when you put on your bra in the morning. You’re still gorgeous because even in these crappy times your body is working to do AMAZING things.
Stop over thinking things.
Ok, this is some advice that I STILL struggle to listen to even now but I feel like at any age it’s one piece of advice we should all take. It will drive you insane and 9 times out of 10 whatever you’re over thinking you won’t even remember next week/month. It is 100% easier said then done but find ways to help you control you over active mind, for me reading a good book, taking a bath, doing Yoga or Pilates really helps.
You’re smarter than you think.
I remember being 15/16 and revising for my GCSE’S and thinking “I can’t do this” “I’m stupid” “I’m not smart enough”. I hated exams, the pressure became too much and I would focus way too much on how well the girl next to me was doing instead of just trying to focus my mind on my work. I doubted how smart I was the whole way through my GCSE’S and my A-levels. It was only when I started to study for my Childcare diploma, started to go on training courses and set up my blog from scratch on my own that I realised I am smart. I CAN do this. I wish I never doubted myself as I feel I would have done 10 times better if I had just believed in myself.
Don’t let boys consume your mind and time.
This was a hot topic around the table as the girls tucked into their bagels and milkshakes. It still baffles me how young intelligent women seem to want to consume their minds and conversations with boys. Asking each other why they haven’t texted back or “why does he only talk to me when we’re in class alone?”. You’re young beautiful intelligent and they are really not worth your time or breath if they only want to know you when it suits them, so stop letting them consume your mind and conversations with your friends.
Enjoy your friends.
Speaking of friends, enjoy being able to just sit and chat without the worry about getting home in time to feed the kids or dashing back to work. Enjoy being able to spend most of your time with your friends because before long it will become EXTREMELY difficult to organise a date when you are all available for an evening, and more often than not it always ends up to only be an hour or so and someone always cancels last minute. I miss the days when I used to be able to spend every lunch chatting with my friends, having little jokes in class, then organising a girls night that EVERYONE turned up to and it was just a matter of someone suggesting to do something on a Friday and that was that.
Focus on what you DO have instead of what you don’t.
When you’re in your teens you feel like everything will be so much more exciting once you reach your twenties, that you’ll have no limitations and life will just be generally easier. *WARNING* this is an illusion. Those twenty somethings you see on Instagram that go out for cocktails every weekend and always have money for that new ASOS bag, are actually sitting in their family home fighting a losing battle with their parents about moving out or they’re in their one bed flat eating beans on toast and tomato soup for dinner almost every night just so they have money for cocktails with the girls on Saturday night. Whatever age you are you will always have limitations but if you focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t then you’ll soon start to enjoy life more.
Listen to your parents.
This must be one of the hardest things to do, at any age, but more so when you’re in your teens. I know sometimes it may seem like they don’t understand. Like they only want to wrap you up in cotton wool when all you want to do it make the mistakes for yourself, BUT they have made a lot of the mistakes you will probably make already. Some of them you really don’t want to make for yourself so listen. Take on their advice, well at least some of it. Oh God! I sound so patronising and mumsie in this post, I’m not even a bloody mum! OR an older sister.
Ta-ra for now